If you read personal growth or self-help books at all, including mine,
you’ve been taught to identify what you want to have. You’ve
been instructed to focus your intention on what you want because what
you think about is what it drawn to you. This idea was best expressed
by the late Earl Nightingale who said "You Mind Moves in the Direction
of Your Currently Dominant Thoughts." This is an idea that can be traced
back thousands of years and appears on every writing on religion, spirituality
or philosophy. The Bible says, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is
he."
You want to hold your attention on what you want to create in your life,
since this is what you want to attract. There is, however, tremendous
value in looking at the other side of this equation, for it is in contrast
that we find clarity. One of the blocks to having what we want in our
lives and businesses is the internal resistance that is present and operating
behind the scenes. For example, let’s supposing that you want to
double your current level of business. I can hear some people right now
gasping at the thought of that however, it occurs all the time. This is
one of the strategy’s I use when coaching business clients who want
quantum growth.
Here’s the problem, you think "I want to double my business in the
next twelve months." While you’re focusing on this lofty goal, there
is in the back of your mind, all kinds of resistance to this idea. Your
internal critic is chattering away telling you how difficult it will be
and, even if it were possible, which it’s not, you would have to
work twice as hard and that’s not something you want to do. The results
here are conflicting and you are probably not even aware of it.
Fortunately, there is a fairly simple solution to this dilemma. Begin
your goal setting by first, identifying what you do not want. I’m
not suggestion for a second that you dwell on what you don’t
want in your life. That will draw it to you. Just that you devote some
time and energy surface everything you don't want. In our business doubling
example, you may have things like "I don’t want more work, added
overhead, more debt, I don’t want to have to hire more people, and
I don’t want to work longer, and on and on." By doing this, you’ve
cleared the way for the next most important step, what you do want. Once
your clear as to what you do not want with regard to your goal or project,
you can begin to list what you do want to have and experience. Again,
in our business doubling example, this might include such things as "I
want to double our business in the next 12 months. I want it to happen
with ease and joy. I want to be able to do it with our present staff and
budgets. I want it to be exciting and pleasurable for everyone. I want
to be fun and have this occur effortlessly. I want to add more value to
our clients. I want to explore new markets and create new ways to reach
them."
By first allowing your fears and resistances to become known to you,
you’ve cleared the way to have more of what you do want.
Note: Once you’ve identified what you don’t want, don’t
keep going back to it. As a matter of fact, you might want to take your
"don't want" list and burn it. Now devote all of your time, energy, resources
and attention and thoughts to what you do want.
