Watch What You Say
"Now don't you go getting any ideas, Harold".
"Don't you get any ideas either, Terry".
"Don't you two get any ideas".
The young mother's words to her small children echoed in my head for
several days. While I realized she was probably warning them to not do
something against her wishes or something that could harm them, I can't
help but wonder about the effects that a situation like that, heard over
and over for a period of years, will have on their lives and their ability
to realize their potential.
Flash forward - It's 20 years later and now little Howard and Terry are
all grown up, sitting in a conference room where they both work as marketing
managers, having graduated at the top of their classes in college.
The CEO is pacing back and forth saying, "Okay gang, what we need
now, if we want to save this company, are some really good ideas."
As their bosses words trail off, Howard and Terry are jolted back in time
to that day at the Eagle Diner. All they can hear is their mother's voice
telling them not to get any ideas. The conflict that this is causing has
blocked their creative abilities. The contribution they might have made
has been stifled by a poor choice of phrasing some 20 years ago.
I know this sounds a bit extreme but if you stop and think about it, this
happens all the time. We are constantly being conditioned by the messages
we hear, especially in our formative years.
We use phrases like "don't get smart" and then wonder why children
are doing poorly in school. There is a connection. Whatever is repeated,
over and over, will be absorbed into the subconscious mind of the
person listening, in this case your children. McDonalds knows this, as
does every other successful advertiser.
In my seminars I ask people to complete this phrase. Winston tastes good
like a ____. Even audience members in their 20's can complete this advertising
slogan, though it hasn't been used for more than 20 years.
The words you choose and the phrases you use repeatedly will have a lasting
impact on your children. Why not choose words that will help them realize
their potential as unique, creative, bright, loving, powerful and successful
human beings?
Imagine what could happen if you made a habit of using positive, empowering,
self-esteem building messages every day? Imagine all your children could
become!
Decide right now to create some positive messages you can implant in the
young minds of your children. Make a daily habit of using positive messages
when speaking to your children.
For example, you might say, "You know (childs name), every day you're
getting better and better in every way." (This is a take off on a
phrase from Claude Bristol's classic self help book, The Magic of Believing).