"Most men die with their music still in them"
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Whose Life Is It Anyway?
Whose life are you living? Are you living your dream or someone else's?
How much of your life is being decided by someone else? Are you in a profession
you dislike because it is expected of you? Do you engage in activities
you would rather skip, simply because it is part of your "role"
as a spouse or mother?
What about you? Doesn't your opinion count? It is not only reasonable
but mentally healthy for you to direct your own life.
If you find yourself in a profession you do not especially like, try asking
yourself the following question: If I were starting over in my career,
what would I chose to do?
Some people retire and, because they can do whatever they want, begin
a second career. This time, they do what they love and, many times, become
highly successful.
Famous the second time around
You may not remember that Caroll O'Connor, the actor who created the
role of Archie Bunker in "All In The Family" and later played
the burly police chief in "In The Heat of the Night," was a
high school teacher until he was in his forties. While teaching is surely
a noble profession, his greatest gifts to humanity were clearly to come
from his acting talents. Fortunately, for those of us entertained by his
talents, he followed his bliss and became an actor.
Another example of the second career is the comedian Phyliss Diller. She
was a cleaning lady until she was 37. Incidentally, she was inspired by
reading and acting on a self-help book, "The Magic of Believing,"
by Claude Bristol. Interestingly enough, Liberace, the great pianist,
attributed the strategies in this same book to his huge success and enormous
wealth.
Take charge of your life
You owe it to yourself to run your own life. I am not suggesting that
you go out and change everything overnight, however, you can begin to
direct your life where you would like it to go.
For example, if you have always wanted to be an actress or actor, but
have financial responsibilities which require you to work a "real
job," you could satisfy your need to act by joining a local theater
group. Many a community theater performer works happily at a nine to five
job Monday through Friday, knowing they have an outlet for their creative
selves on the weekend.
If most of your time is being taken up in the role of wife and mother,
you could begin to set aside time for yourself. Time to pursue your other
dreams. You could arrange for your spouse or another person to care for
your children while you take care of your own needs.
Taking care of yourself is not selfish. The Bible say we should love our
neighbor as ourselves. It does not say instead of or more than. Begin
to set aside time doing some of the things you want.
If you are in a job you strongly dislike, start devising a plan which
will allow you to make a change. Perhaps you need to go for re-training
in another profession. I know of several nurses who, when they realized
they were spending more time filling out paperwork than caring for patients,
began new careers as massage therapists. There, they were able to have
the satisfaction of working directly with the people they wanted to help.