July 31st, 2008 by Jim Donovan
Life happens. It doesn’t matter how positive an attitude you have or how balanced and centered you are, there are going to be times when you are knocked down. Ties when your carefully organized life is turned upside down and you get knocked on your rear end. Life happens.
You will no doubt experience serious illness in either yourself or someone close to you. You may be challenged with the loss of a loved one, a divorce or perhaps the loss of a job or any number of situations that will leave you feeling like you were kicked in the stomach.
Let’s face it. These things will happen. They’re part of life and no matter how you try to explain them away with the idea that, “everything happens for a reason,” they hurt. A lot! They hurt at the very core of your being. The pain begins in your heart and radiates throughout your entire being. Repeating positive phrases does not make it stop hurting.
At times like these, you’re going to feel down, even depressed. You probably feel anger or some other manifestation of your pain. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s ok. It’s ok to feel hurt, sad, angry or whatever your true feelings are. You cannot deny pain any more than can deny fear. The only way through either of them is to give yourself permission to feel the feeling.
The question is not whether or not you will feel down. The question is for how ling will you stay in this state?
The difference between people who get through life’s challenging moments, regardless of the seriousness, and those who are immobilized by the events is what I call the “Bounce factor.”
How quickly can you bounce back? Of course, the severity of the event will have a lot to do with the time it will take you to get past the pain and on with your life.
Take the example of two people being downsized from their high technology jobs, something that is becoming a natural occurrence these days. One, whom we’ll call John, is floored by the news of his dismissal. He expresses his pain by becoming angry at the company, his co-workers and the system in general. He spends his days telling anyone who’ll listen, about his “problem.” Usually from a bar stool.
As he sees it, his life is ruined and he’s blaming everyone for his troubles. People who react like John spend weeks, even months, wallowing in despair until, if they’re fortunate, someone close to them convinces them to seek professional help.
Mary, on the other hand, reacts much differently. Although she has gone through the same experience as John and has pretty much the same issues like living expenses, etc., she chooses to react differently.
After a brief period of feeling a loss of self-esteem, self-pity and anger, Mary decides to get back in the game. She begins contacting her network of colleagues and co-workers, avails herself of the outplacement services her former employer offered everyone and starts actively looking for a new position. In a short time, Mary finds her “dream job” with an exciting new company.
While both people in our hypothetical example Had the same experience and both went through a period of hurting, the time each allowed themselves to remain in that dis-empowering state was vastly different. While John remained “stuck” in his problem, Mary handled her loss and moved on with her life.
This is the key. It’s not whether life occasionally puts you into a tailspin, it’s how long you remain there.
When something devastating happens to you, allow yourself some time to grieve your loss, however, don’t allow yourself to get stuck there. Take some action. Join a support group, talk about your feelings with a trusted friend or your spiritual advisor. If necessary, seek professional help.
In the case of a job loss, perhaps you want to take some time to re-evaluate your career goals. You may even consider a change in fields. When you’re ready, you can begin networking and making new contacts. Attend social or church events. Call people you know. Do something!
One of the most important things to remember in high stress situations is not to allow yourself to isolate. While spending some time alone is normal, even necessary, isolation can be dangerous and should be avoided at all costs. Get out and be with people as soon as possible. As a friend recently reminded me, “life is for the living.” It’s important to get back to your life. In time, the pain will pass.
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July 31st, 2008 by Jim Donovan
A prime retail location recently became available on Main Street in the heart of downtown Doylestown, Pennsylvania. An upscale, charming community, with a good amount of local and tourist activity.
Nestled amongst upscale restaurants, unique shops, local bookstore and trendy national brands like Chico’s, The Gap and Starbucks, one could only wonder what would fill this newly vacated space.
What opened there, probably the last type of store anyone would have guessed and certainly one which a business school professor would have vetoed, was a competing brand of coffee.
At first glance you might question the sanity of the decision to open a coffee shop two doors down from a Starbucks, however, upon closer examination it becomes apparent that not only will the newly opened location survive, but more likely will thrive.
You see the new business, The Bucks County Coffee Company, has the business savvy to differentiate themselves from the national brand.
In all fairness to The Bucks County Coffee Company, they do have a high profile since Doylestown is the county seat of Bucks County, PA and the company has been known throughout the area for years.
The real significance however, is that they are clearly not attempting to go “head-to-head” with the Starbucks giant, but rather to play on their uniqueness and emphasize their differences.
This is the lesson for all small businesses, especially those who are faced with a national brand, or a big box store coming to town.
The way to succeed in a competitive environment is to look for ways that you can emphasize your strengths without taking away from the other business.
In the abundant universe we live in, there is always plenty to go around, providing you stay focused on what is working and avoid, at all costs, getting into a state of feeling lack or thinking “life is a dog eat dog” proposition.
Doing the latter will only attract more of the same and you will soon see your business failing.
You might even visit the larger competitor, introduce yourself and ask how you might work together for everyone’s benefit. The answers you receive may well surprise you.
It today’s business environment, one that is clearly different than days gone by, even companies who compete in one area will often form joint ventures for other parts of the business.
What are two things that differentiate your business from your competitor?
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July 30th, 2008 by Jim Donovan
Have you ever noticed that some people age well? They become older with grace and dignity, look vibrant and alive and remain physically and mentally active well into old age. While others begin getting old in their youth. What makes the difference?
Why is such a large portion of our society aging poorly? Why are hospitals and nursing homes overcrowded and so many older people just barely alive? Is this a natural progression or can we alter the way we age?
The Bible teaches us that we have a natural life expectancy of 120-150 years. Many of the well-known people in the Old Testament lived to be well over 100 years old and, in some parts of the world today, entire villages live well into triple digit ages.
What are the secrets of a long and productive life and what can you do about it? More importantly, how can you live your life to the fullest, enjoying an abundance of health, wealth and happiness? How can you make the most of your life, for however long you are here?
How can you live, laugh and love more? What steps can you take, starting now, to achieve the best level of health and fitness you are capable of reaching? How can you get back in touch with your dreams and desires and begin to experience them? How can you learn to age with passion, purpose, power and prosperity?
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July 30th, 2008 by Jim Donovan
My previous article about the high suicide rate in Japan prompted several comments, including one from a woman in Japan who has had friends either attempt suicide or, in some cases actually do it, as a result of being depressed.
I want to be clear right here, if you or someone you care about is suffering from depression, get help now. This is a serious condition that often requires immediate intervention. There is no shame in being treated for depression. The shame is when a precious life is lost because of it.
When I was growing up, if you told someone you were “depressed,” you were brushed off and told, “get over it.” Fortunately, we have evolved as a society and now recognize that depression does, in fact, exist. We now know that it is serious and that it can be treated.
Even with this new awareness, there are still far too many people in our society today who are walking around with varying degrees of depression.
While I do not claim to be a mental health or medical professional, nor do I play on on TV, I have been studying health as a personal interest for over 30 years and, since my mother taught me to read at a young age, I have a certain amount of knowledge on the subject.
The reader I mentioned earlier suggested this rise in depression may be caused, in part, by too many electromagnetic fields (EMF’s), not all together an outrageous idea.
Last week the medical community released information linking cell phone usage to cancerous tumors, a report which was quickly discredited by the FDA. Makes you wonder who they’re working for.
In cases of mild depression, it’s been my personal experience that two of the primary causes are imbalances in either brain chemicals (neurotransmitters) or hormones.
If you are suffering from a non-life threatening case of moderate depression, before you run out and start taking heavy duty anti-depressant drugs like Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, and others, you may be better served by having your hormone and brain chemical levels checked.
Of course, seeing a therapist is another wise option, however, I would also be on the lookout for a physical cause behind it, especially if your depression is recent. While we all get “down” from time to time, being depressed for long periods is not a natural state of mind.
Brain chemical analysis can be done with a simple urine sample, is inexpensive, and is available from a variety of sources. Hormone levels, however, require a blood test and, of course, both should be evaluated by a qualified medical professional.
Often, as was my own experience several years ago, the problem can be treated with nutritional supplementation. I had been experiencing mood swings and feeling a bit “down.” I was just not my usual upbeat self.
My doctor, Dr. Neil Rosen who happens to be a holistic practitioner, ordered brain chemical analysis. It turned out I had low levels of serotonin, a problem that was easily resolved with a natural nutritional supplement.
If you’re a woman (or man) over 40, it’s a good idea to have your hormone levels checked. If you want to know more about this, Suzanne Somers did extensive research in her book, The Sexy Years and Ageless (she does great titles:-) Incidentally, I found Dr. Rosen in the back of her book where she has listed a number of doctors who use complementary medicine in their practice.
Remember, as I said earlier, in cases of serious depression, see a professional right away. Whatever the cause, depression is something that can, and should, be treated immediately.
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July 28th, 2008 by Jim Donovan
I realize this is different from my “typical” writing but it’s important and, since I have a lot of readers in Japan, feel it necessary.
There was a very disturbing story in USA Today last week about how the suicide rate in Japan is at an all time high. With some 34,000 people taking their own life last year alone, this is certainly a tragedy.
While I can understand how a person can sink to such a level of despair, having been there in my own life years ago, I also know, today, how totally unnecessary it is.
There is always a way out of any circumstance, regardless of how it may appear in the moment. As a wise man once said, “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”
While I do not profess to be an expert on this subject, there have been times as I said earlier, I have been close enough to understand what might drive a person to an act with such finality.
One of the things that helped me get past it was, believe it or not, my incessant curiosity. To me, committing suicide is like walking out of a theater before the end of the movie. I figured I was going to die sooner or later so why not stick around to see what happens. Looking back from my current perspective, I’m sure glad I did.
Another thing, which probably had more impact that anything else, is that I’m essentially an optimist and know that, sooner or later, everything will work out. I believe in God and know that he/she has a better future in store for me.
I’m reminded of the story of the ancient King who summoned the Royal Jeweler to make him a ring that would, “Make me happy when I am sad and sad when I am happy.”
The wise old ring maker came back with a ring inscribed, “This too shall pass.”
People who have reached the point where taking their own life seems the only way out may want to consider that, whatever is happening right now, will certainly change in. And probably in the very near future.
Financial markets will bounce back, real estate prices will rise nice again and the world will keep on spinning. Everything in our life will be different in a short time.
In the case of those taking their own life, 57% of who were unemployed, middle aged men, instead of taking the cowardly way out — yes, suicide is a cowardly act . It takes courage to face our problems head-on and do something about them. In those cases in particular, they could start asking more empowering questions like, “What else can I do to change this situation?”
They can seek professional help or even join one of the many support groups to help them better cope with the current situation.
With all the opportunities available today, in Japan and elsewhere, there is no reason anyone has to resort to ending their own life as a way to solve any problem, much less an economic one.
While committing suicide may be considered an acceptable way to solve a financial crisis, it does take into account the effect on one’s spouse or the long term damage to children left behind to sort it all out.
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July 22nd, 2008 by Jim Donovan
Do you want more income or more of anything else?
Silly question. It’s natural to want more while, of course, appreciating what we already have.
Okay. Here’s the “secret” exercise -
Go clean out your closet.
I know. At this point, you’re probably thinking I’ve gone “over the edge” but trust me, this works. I’ll explain in a moment. Keep reading.
I learned this simple activity over 20 years ago from Louise Hay, one of the great teachers of our time. Actually I learned a lot from her and her books helped me to change my life.
She taught me that, by cleaning out your closets, you create a vacuum and, since nature does not like a vacuum, you will begin attracting more into your life.
It’s really, I think, more about the symbolism and energy work than the actual cleaning but I do know it works.
Don’t take my word for this, go and give it a try.
The interesting thing is, since most things you want usually require you to buy them, you will, more than likely, begin attracting more money.
What you are doing, in effect, is creating an energetic space in your life for something new to come in.
By the way, this also works really well for attracting a new relationship. Make some space for the person and their “stuff.”
There are, of course, several side benefits to doing this exercise. For starters, your home will be less cluttered and neater. And you’ll be able to find things in your closet easier.
Plus, you can take whatever you clean out and either sell it on ebay.com, at a yard sale, or bring it to a consignment shop. Any of these actions will also bring you more money in return.
If you don’t want to do that, you can donate your unwanted things and, in many cases, receive a tax break for doing so. Make sure you get a receipt when you make your donation.
Lastly, for the things with no resale value, just put them out where some needy person can find them. In major US cities, for example, items on the sidewalk usually are gone in 10 minutes or less.
Doing any of these things will make you feel lighter and more prosperous and that alone will bring you more of whatever you want.
Remember, feeling good is a point of attraction. Anything less is not.
More ways to make more money!
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July 15th, 2008 by Jim Donovan
If you said “They’re both rich.” Well yes that’s true but . . .
If you said, “They’re both the best at what they do,” this is also true, but . . .
In addition to being very wealthy and at the top of their respective fields, Streisand in music and Woods in golf, they both work with a coach.
Why would someone at the top of their chosen profession need a coach?
The answer is quite simple. They realize, as do top performers in every field, the value of having someone on the sidelines watching their every move and making sure they’re on track. They know that, while they are doing what they do, it’s important to have someone watching their every step and providing feedback to help them be their best.
Today, smart entrepreneurs are doing the same. Understanding that, rarely does anyone reach their potential without a coach, they are hiring coaches who specialize in working with businesses. Small business owners in particular, many who have no one to confide in other than their partner or spouse, can benefit greatly from the services of a small business coach. And hiring a coach tends to be a minor investment when compared to the value it brings.
In addition to providing a confidential and objective sounding board for problem solving and brainstorming, their coach will hold them accountable for achieving the goals they set for themselves and their business. Often the bane of the small business owner is that they are too busy with day-to-day activities, putting out the occasional “fires” that flare up unexpectedly to be concentrating on their long term vision. And most have learned from experience how difficult it is to achieve significant results going it alone.
Their coach, on the other hand, is able to hold this vision with them and ensure they are moving toward it. And a really great coach will help the entrepreneur envision a result bigger than they would have thought possible.
So, if you want to see your business grow and prosper, go out and get a coach.
Just make sure it’s someone who specializes in working with small businesses. Tiger woods does not have a voice coach and it’s unlikely that “Babs” keeps a golf coach on staff.
Learn more about how having a business coach can help your business.
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July 12th, 2008 by Jim Donovan
As the legendary Nat King Cole sang way back in 1963, “Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer.”
I don’t know about you but this time of year I like to slow down and relax a little. Of course, if you’re one of my friends in Australia, New Zealand or anywhere else that it’s winter, you’re having a different experience:-)
If you are, by the way, be sure to look for the new Australian edition of This is Your Life, Not a Dress Rehearsal just released there. You can order it from the Australian Online Bookshop
Also, you can read an interview with me in the new Australian success magazine, “No Limits.” It’s an awesome publication and I’m honored to be part of it.
But, if you are in the midst of summer, or just want to relax a bit, now is the ideal time to do it. In most of the world, people are slowing down a little.
Personally, one of the things I like to do, as Steven Covey suggests, is “sharpen my saw.” I like to use these slower times of the year to learn and study. Besides, I need something more to do while sitting on the beach or even on my own patio. If you’re interested, you can read below about some of what I’m currently reading and studying.
Summer is also a great time to do some strategic planning for your business or even make your plan to add an additional income stream.
As I’ve said over and over, I believe this is one of the best ways to protect yourself and your family from rising prices. You can learn several ways to do this in my home study program
Georgia and I recently spent a few wonderful days visiting friends. Not only did we have fun and get to sit quietly along the Oneida river, watching the boats go by and, one afternoon taking a leisurely boat ride ourselves, I also had the opportunity to have long conversations with my friend Wayne. When he and I speak, we get into some pretty deep stuff.
One of these talks resulted in our brainstorming a new series of audio programs unlike anything ever done in the personal development field. The first of these will be ready in a few weeks and I’ll let you know more about it later.
Being away from my day-to-day environment enables me to free my mind from it’s usual tasks and allows my brain to come up with new and creative ideas. All while having a great time. Of course, I ate too much but I’ll deal with that later:-)
We all need this mental time to relax, reflect and let our minds come up with new ideas. This is hard to do if we’re in our regular routine.
So, the next time you’re thinking, “all I seem to do is work,” take some time off and as Nat King Cole suggested, enjoy those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer.
Do you want to know what I am studying?
My latest book is The Answer by John Assaraf. You may remember him as the “Dream Board” guy from the movie, The Secret. It’s a law of attraction book targeted toward business people and it’s great.
To continue to “sharpen my saw” in business, I’m studying (and will be acting on for a while) “Traffic Manifesto” by my friend Ross Goldberg. If the Internet is a part of your business, or you’d like it to be, you need this.
However, be warned, if you think you’re going to fluff thorough it and are not willing to take the action, don’t bother. This is a very, very comprehensive course that will give you real results . . . if . . . you do your part.
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